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Top 10: Ways To Die Like a Badass
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1. Getting Sucked into a Jet Engine:
Here’s a video of this guy that gets
sucked into a jet engine and actually survives! I don’t
know how he lived, makes no sense. Geese die this way all
the time; it’s a pretty badass way to go.
2. Piranhas:
They’re one of the most ferocious fresh water fish in the
world. If you fall in the river and can’t swim, you’re
dinner. This is an insane way to die because it’s a
combination of drowning and getting eaten alive by a bunch
of fish with razor sharp teeth.
3. During Sex:
Yeah I know, it’s a little cliché but this is a pretty
crazy way to die. Can you imagine being the other
person??? What are you supposed to do if you’re the other
person? Nobody likes blue balls; do you finish up at risk
of being called a necrophiliac?
4. Fire Ants:
Mitch Hedberg said he didn’t like eating rice because
there’s “just too many of them.” Anytime you have to eat
1,000 of something it’s not worth it. Well picture
yourself walking in the jungle minding your own business
and then suddenly falling into a fire ant nest. Anytime
you get bitten, then simultaneously eaten by 1,000 of
something it’s pretty extreme!
5. Being in a sinking submarine crushed by the water
pressure:
This is pretty badass because you know you’re going to die
and there’s nothing you can do about it. Water is leaking
in, people are panicking, things are getting pretty
extreme. Everyone gets really quiet; the only thing you can
hear is the bending and breaking steel of the outer hull.
It’s just a big waiting game, and nobody in the sub is
going to win.
6. While Giving a Speech:
This one is great because of the shock factor. Thousands of
people could be witnesses of your death. Personally I’ve
never seen anyone die, I guess I saw Dale Earnhardts crash
on TV but didn’t know he died until like an hour later. If
you’re giving a speech and you’re the one person that a few
thousand people saw die in person, that makes you a badass!
7. Getting Stabbed in the Face by a Blue Marlin:
You’re in Florida, it’s sunny and 90º, and you just hooked
a huge blue marlin on your fishing trip. You fight the fish
for an hour, it’s gigantic, you have it right next to the
boat and you’re about to catch it. You’re gonna stuff the
son of a bitch and put it above your fireplace, your life
is pretty sweet. Bam!!! The fish launches out of the water
with a ferocious leap and stabs you right in the dome! You
die.
8. Falling to the Ground Floor on a Broken Elevator:
This one is awesome because in most cases there are going
to be multiple people in the elevator. This is just like
the submarine, a fucked up waiting game. Inevitably there
is going to be that one annoying bitch screaming at the top
of her lungs, try to slap her in the face before you hit
the ground floor, this will ensure you a better spot in
heaven.
9. Getting Locked in a Tanning Bed:
Maybe you’re queer and like to tan… whatever. Have you ever
been sun burnt? Have you ever been sun burnt until you
died? Imagine yourself trying to get a nice tan, and the
second you want to get out, the shit’s locked! What the
fuck is going on? You jiggle it… Nothing! You can smell
yourself cooking… pretty badass!
10. Getting Hit by a Comet:
You’re just walking along minding your own damn business
and you get space fucked! You look up and see a shooting
star, you make a wish. Your wish gets closer and closer…
Something’s wrong. Unless you wished not to get hit by the
shooting star you just wished upon, you’re pretty much
screwed.
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| Comments: |
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| Posted by hi |
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| Posted by suckacheetahsdick |
| Piranhas don't eat people
Capcha-Furburger |
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| Posted by carrying contraption |
| The comet seems like the least painful way to go. |
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| Posted by Wormbrain.com |
| A Nacropheliac would be someone who falls asleep while having sex with a dead person. |
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| Posted by Spelling Nazi |
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| Posted by nbgolds |
| Dude, I tried the marlin thing - it's harder than it sounds. Mytho Bustido. |
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